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Originally Posted by genuinegirly
recoils... indicates trauma. She's not willing to talk about it with you, but what about a professional?
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STRONGLY seconded. There's something in her past she hasn't dealt with, and she should get into some sort of therapy--if not for you, then for her. I've been in this relationship. It's not pretty. She needs you to show the way, here, because whatever trauma in her past has her being like this, it's now just how life IS for her, and she has no idea there could be any other possible way.