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Old 03-04-2008, 04:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
uncle phil
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Location: upstate
The Three Bears Revisited

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It's empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!!' he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it's also empty. 'Who's been eating my Porridge?!!' he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'How many times do we have to go through this with you idiots?'

'It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who put the friggin' cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time :


'I HAVEN'T MADE THE DAMN PORRIDGE YET !!”
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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