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I was seeing a girl for almost a year not long after I came to Canada. We were good friends before and it was time to get out of the friendship zone and when the time was right we put our virginity behind us. (I even sought advice here on that to make it just right) She told me no matter what the moment would always be with her, I know it's always going to be with me. I thought we were really happy and that things were taken a step further and deeper between us.
A few months back, there was a party, everyone from my grade were going. I was planning on going with her, but had to beg off, I just wasn't feeling well after work and told her to go on with the rest of them. I heard that she had gone off with her ex boyfriend (he's a year older and had dumped her on account she wouldn't have sex with him.)and they dissappeared from the party. He later started telling all his mates, he'd done her I heard the rumours and got some snide comments that it was the experience that she was looking for and he was the man...and that almost had me kicked out of a soccer practice tryiing to floor, but it wasn't until her best friend told me that it really hit. The guy still keeps rubbing my face in it.
I let it alone for a week though it was tearing me up and then had a moment alone with her, and pretty much used her in a way that treated her like she was nothing to me but just a ride. She was all hurt after and almost in tears, I felt like shit for doing that but still that's when I told her I knew what she'd done and pretty much lost all the ideas of composure. Of all people she had to screw around with being him and making me look the idiot. She told me that she had been drunk and out of her head on e and didn't even know what she was in for, I could have been twice as wrecked and not done that to her. "it just happened"..I left her after that, feeling a right c*nt, because all I wanted at that point was one more ride from her and she had reduced to me to tears when I really wanted to be shouting in her face, and to kick her out of my life.
I guess thats how life and love is. Getting your heart broken is just part of it. But there are always cracks that just won't heal. I still haven't got over her, and the way she wrecked me to the point of months of not even looking for anyone else. It's hard to still see her at school but the whole thing has divided a group of us. Still hurs alot and I wish I could move on past having to not see a girl more than a week. Her best friend has been making it clear enough she'd llike me to.
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