Thanks for the awesome feed back so far guys. I made some changes and here is what I have so far. Please let me know what you think. It's exactly one page. I couldn't set the scene to be in the same tone as the first one without having to rewrite the whole thing so I opted not to do it at all.
Quote:
Scene 2
Bill is in his office working when the Mariners game is on. Actually, he’s only half working. The other half is with the game. He listens to the radio broadcasting of the game on low volume as to not disturb his co-workers next door. But every now and then, an excited “Yes” and a painful “ughhh” bursts into the room and leaks out into the suite. It catches the attention of his co-worker but they’re used to it by now. All they can do is smile at Bill’s enthusiasm for the Mariners and hope they’d win. If not for Bill’s sake then for theirs. He doesn’t like it when the Mariners lose, and he shows it.
His office is a miniature museum. A shrine dedicated to the Mariners. Posters of various Mariners plastered all over the left wall. On the right wall is the group photo of the entire Mariners team. Various autographed baseballs of Mariners can be found on top of his three-story book case. He’s collecting. There isn’t much to his collection. Only six so far. He never asks Mariners to sign the baseballs at the game. Rather, he always has one handy in case he bumps into any of them in public. This way, he believes, the encounter is more meaningful. He would then come home to tell his family who he bumped into that day and what they talked about over dinner.
His most prized possession however, isn’t a Mariners artifact. It’s an old and dirty baseball from his son’s state championship game over ten years ago. He was awarded the game ball for striking out the most batters. He then gave to Bill and said, “Thanks for your support, dad.” The ball reminds him of the time when he and his family played baseball together. He dedicated every Sunday afternoon for a family baseball game. No work, no business, no interruption. Just some quality family time. But that is all gone now. His children grew up and moved away. Only his wife is left and the memories.
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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.
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