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Originally Posted by abaya
My beef with the issue happens when when a man wants to do anal to a woman (and the woman is resistant to doing it--key point), but is completely NOT open to even the idea of seeing how it feels for him to receive it, often to the point of some kind of homophobia (e.g. fear of himself turning gay if he even considers the idea rationally). There is no consideration of whether such reciprocation might contribute to building mutual understanding and vulnerability into the relationship, or helping the woman to trust him more with giving him back-door access, etc. It's just the straight-up , "I want your ass, but NO WAY IN HELL are you going near mine! Exit only!!! etc etc." that bothers me so much.
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Men and women are not the same in sex, and sexual desires. Sex does not have to be 'fair' and it can still be good. There is nothing wrong with a guy who wants to try giving anal and not receiving it any more than a guy wanting to get a BJ and not giving one.
I personally will never have a woman do anything anal to me. Its not something I want to do (and I'm not that fond of doing it to a woman for that matter), but the 'gay fear' thing doesn't apply. Being gay is about sex with another man, not a woman doing something to you. Its just something that holds zero appeal to many men. I think the homophobia angle is something of a red herring. A lot of men just don't have the desire.
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It stands in stark contrast with a more gentle approach, which would be, "I'd like to try anal with you," (and if girl resists the idea) "Okay, would it make you feel better about doing it, if I let you try it on me first?" I don't see any problem with that statement, nor does it make the man "gay" or anywhere near it. Makes the man damn compassionate and attractive, if you ask me. 
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That too is just a personal preference. I know if I asked my wife to do anal on me with a strap on she would not have been happy and would have thought it was weird on my part even though she doesn't think its weird for women.
You like Allen Aldaesk types, she likes John Waynesk types, as long as we are having sex with the right types, its all that matters.