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Originally Posted by pig
beesi can honestly say i'm not overly interested in anal play period...if my girlfriend wanted anal sex, then i'd probably oblige. however, i don't think i'd volunteer my ass beforehand.
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So what's the problem, then? If you don't want to have anal with any girl, and any girl that you're with doesn't want to have anal with you (giving or receiving), then why so much fuss about the issue? You know your boundaries, and you aren't demanding women to change theirs in a hypocritical manner. No problem, as far as I can tell.
My beef with the issue happens when when a man wants to do anal to a woman (and the woman is resistant to doing it--key point), but is completely NOT open to even the idea of seeing how it feels for him to receive it, often to the point of some kind of homophobia (e.g. fear of himself turning gay if he even considers the idea rationally). There is no consideration of whether such reciprocation might contribute to building mutual understanding and vulnerability into the relationship, or helping the woman to trust him more with giving him back-door access, etc. It's just the straight-up , "I want your ass, but NO WAY IN HELL are you going near mine! Exit only!!! etc etc." that bothers me so much.
It stands in stark contrast with a more gentle approach, which would be, "I'd like to try anal with you," (and if girl resists the idea) "Okay, would it make you feel better about doing it, if I let you try it on me first?" I don't see any problem with that statement, nor does it make the man "gay" or anywhere near it. Makes the man damn compassionate and attractive, if you ask me.
