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Old 02-17-2008, 07:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
KellyC
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Flat and Round characters - English question

I'm taking an online Fictional Writing class at school. This unit is focuses on Characterization and I'm supposed to differentiate between a flat and round character.

Here's my assignment.
Quote:
Characterization Assignment

After reading the pages and lectures for this module and participating in the discussion board, respond in to the prompt listed below. Be complete and specific in your response.

Prompt

Search the newspaper for an obituary or notice of dissolution: (http://www.heraldnet.com/vitalstatistics/ for example…)

Choose a detailed notice and pull a potential character from it. Then, write two scenes involving this character: one in which you strive to make him or her a round character and one in which you render him or her a flat character. Note that not all of his or her traits and descriptors will be necessary for you to use. But you must stay true to what is here. You can’t change age, gender, or background in any way. All you can do is use it to your advantage (or not). Try to keep your total response to two pages max. Remember, you are submitting TWO SCENES on one assignment. You need not include the actual notice from the paper.

Grades

This assignment will be graded on its complete attention to the prompt and professional presentation. This is a college assignment, and must be presented as such. No grammar or spelling mistakes are acceptable.

You must demonstrate your understanding of flat and round characters. This will be the bulk of the grade.

And here is my response after reading this obituary.
http://www.legacy.com/HeraldNet/Deat...onId=103464352

Quote:
Scene 1

The Mariners are playing the Indians tonight. It’s the ninth inning and the Indians have two outs. The crowd is cheering loud. As they should be. The Mariners are winning—but barely. They’re only up by two. One more out and the game is won.

Bill is on the way home from work while listening to the radio broadcast of the game in his car. He is a nervous wreck. It’s 5:27 pm in a warm June afternoon. I-5 is jammed from Exit 160 to Exit 175. Nothing unusual about this picture. It happens every day. Except for Bill. The Mariners is about to win the series with just one more out. He listens intently to the sport announcer describing the players’ movement, the reaction of the crowd, and the repeated reminders of how important it is for the Mariners to win this game. Shut up! He says in his head to the announcer. I know this already!

It’s so hard to pay attention to the road and to the most important game of the Mariners’ history at the same time. No, the most important game of Bill’s life. And he’s missing it. But he’s trying to make up for it with the radio. A poor substitute but it’ll have to do.

Gas, break. Gas, break. BREAK! Watch the road, you jerk! He honks. Idiots don’t know how to yield.

The crowd is booing. What happened? Bill misses the call. “…and he is safe!” the radio announces. Dammit! If only he was at the game. He mumbles to himself for a moment when he hears another call, “it’s going…going…gone! Home run for the Indians!” More boos ensue in the background noise.

Bill tries his best to picture the game in his head. BREAK! What happened? Did I hit someone? Did someone hit me? If only he was at the game…

=======================

Scene 2
Bill is in his office working when the Mariners game is on. Actually, he’s only half working. He is too into the game to give one hundred percent of his attention to his work. He listens to the radio broadcasting of the game on low volume as to not disturb his co-workers next door. Every now and then, an excited “Yes” and a painful “ughhh” bursts into the room and leaks out into the suite. It catches the attention of his co-worker but they’re used to it by now. All they can do is smile at Bill’s enthusiasm for the Mariners and hope they’d win. If not for Bill’s sake then for theirs. He doesn’t like it when the Mariners lose, and he shows it.

His office is a miniature museum. A shrine dedicated to the Mariners. Posters of Ken Griffey Jr. and Ichiro Suzuki and Randy Johnson and other notable Mariners plastered all over the left wall. On the right wall is the group photo of the entire Mariners team. Various autographed baseballs of Mariners and Mariners alumni can be found on top of his three-story book case. He’s collecting. There isn’t much to his collection. Only six so far. That is because he has a rather unique method of collection. He always have a baseball handy and would only have it signed if he happens to bump into a Mariner in public. He never asks them to sign it at the game. He reasons that this way, the encounter with the Mariners can be more memorable.

His most prized possession however, isn’t a Mariners artifact. It’s an old and dirty baseball from his son’s state championship game over ten years ago. He was awarded the game ball for striking out the most batters. He then gave to Bill and said, “Thanks for your support, dad.”
Scene 1 is where Bill is supposed to be flat. Scene 2 is where Bill is supposed to be round.

I am doing this right? Any suggestions to make this better? And is this accurate as far as baseball goes? I don't know any thing about baseball...

Sorry about the grammar, I just finished writing.
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