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Originally Posted by Ustwo
I think if you really looked at it, you would find it is in fact fear. It sounds like you have always had it.
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I can see where you're coming from, and there's some truth to that. But fear isn't everything. I've always been afraid of open water (my father drowning at sea might have something to do with that), but I still dove headlong into crew in college, because I loved facing that thing that scared me on a daily basis. I developed a healthy respect for the power of open water. I've typically been drawn to things that I fear... not so with guns, ever. I've always just seen them as a total anomaly in my life... something that did not belong.
When I think about guns and ammo, etc... the dominant feeling isn't fear, it's that of being in a totally unrecognizable country. I have no connection whatsoever with the mindset of wanting to be armed... it's just not there, even when reason states that it should be, maybe (e.g. walking around Beirut, or hell, even when I was doing fieldwork in the Philly ghetto). I just never had that curiosity, which is strange for me. I'm the type who gets curious about damn near everything, even if it's dangerous and a very bad idea.
So part of that may be fear, but I think a lot of it is also personality and maybe the way I was raised. Gut values, as I said before.