I refused to smile at my mother from when I was a baby and punched the tallest boy in 1st grade in the nose because there was a booger hanging out and I guess I thought that was easier then telling him.
I gave my blind, middle school English teacher the finger (it was witnessed by the spinster home ec teacher who ran me to the principal's office) because he asked me to stop talking in line. This got me suspended but he thought it was a riot. We became very close throughout the rest of middle school.
I lost (I believe it was) 4 units of blood when a vaginal artery burst the night after I gave birth to my first daughter almost 25 years ago. They said I should have died that night. (And this was when AIDS was just coming to light but blood banks had not yet begun testing before infusions.)
My supervisor keeps trying to intimidate me into submission on the job, but he knows I'm a helluva lot smarter than he is. When he writes me up for something he deems a problem with me, I always know how to respond professionally and still manage to make him look bad without looking like it was my intention. Yeah, I'm bad. Don't try to bullshit me.
He should be retiring soon, but I'll probably beat him out the door.
I could go on and on but y'all probably wouldn't believe some of it. Suffice it to say that I no longer fear much of anything except roaches and palmetto bugs. Throw me in the worst section of the ghetto, surround me with snakes and rats. I've been through hell and back quite a few times and it's true what they say. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I'm a badass, yeah.
