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Originally Posted by abaya
It's really not a problem of using lube... we have this industrial-size bottle of Maximus lube (the best out there, in my opinion, for all orifices of interest) RIGHT NEXT to our pillows, practically. It sits on the bedframe at all times, ready to go... and we made sure to get the kind with the easy-pump on top, so we can use it one-handed.
But usually it's my husband who applies the lube when I need it... maybe after he's tried to get me wet for a while, and it hasn't worked... so it's all up to him to decide when and how to do these things. And I'm just wondering if y'all think that things should be more fair... that the woman should have to apply the lube sometimes, or get herself wet, even make herself have an orgasm during sex, etc... so that not all the pressure is on the man for all these things. Thoughts? I mean, where does this expectation on the man to do everything come from, I guess?
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I never had that thought-that is was "on the man", but a lot of men think it is and enjoy the "challenge". If you think about it, for men to show they're aroused they just have to get hard, but for women to show "evidence" of arousal, we have to get wet, otherwise the men aren't sure we are, so they work at that....that's my logic to it, at least. We can moan and writhe and fake all that, but getting sopped can't be faked, so when that happens, it tells the guy "I did it!".
We really need to kill the myth that it's the man's "job" and take our pleasures into our own hands........so to speak. It's ok to fuck without the workout and it's ok to fuck without the big "O" every time. And guys, we're not always dripping wet when we're aroused or horny, so don't take it personally....