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fatmanforprez · 02-04-2008, 10:26 PM

I must fit in the no shame category. i tell my friends, SOs, and anyone who will listen anything they want to know. And I don't lie, there is one person I have reserved the right to lie to (my mother), however I resist even that. I know it sounds petty but no one can look in my soul the way she can.

Lying however is a problem, I don't tolerate it in relationships and I get really upset over it with friends.

It is true I have had a pretty tame past, at least for the most part, but I don't see the benefit of denying my past self. It is "yes, I earned my red wings, and I realized it before she did" and "yes, I accidentally lit a pile of black powder with my thumb in it once". If my GF at the time of that first story didn't spread the story herself i would not admit names, as is she don't care. I'm sure my friends who were there are embarrassed for me in the second but I am the one with the burns, so tuff shit.

The only thing i don't share is something someone else has told to me under confidentiality, and then I don't lie, I just tell the querier that I can't disclose that.

As far as relationships go I announce this fact long before there is a relationship, so it doesn't surprise them. I appreciate reciprocity in this, but I never demand or even request it. I have had Gfs who did not believe in being open completely, or at all, and I currently have a GF who does have the same open policy as I do. Looking back at my relationships I can truthfully say that it helps.

That said I had a GF who knew of TFP, and joined when we broke up (there is some question of timing there). That was ugly, really ugly. I still apologize for that. I actually quit TFP for a 18 months or so over it. I was so freaked out that I would run into her on her that this place wasn't safe anymore.

Looking back at it, it looks like I guess I still do have 1 sort of secret, it really hurt me for some reason to have her see my plea for help to you guys, or to see hers. Now I feel childish about it. In fact I think I just hit a crisis, do I mention TFP to my current GF? It had honestly never come up before now and I think that I am in trouble. I will let you all know what is decided, assuming you care, I would love to be a board couple like those I see on TFP, I think the surprise was the problem.

I consider this place kind of like my version of a journal, the mixture of anonymity and disclosure makes this place feel safe. That probably explains my huge rants that never seem to elicit response.

02-04-2008, 10:26 PM	#43 (permalink)
fatmanforprez Tilted	I must fit in the no shame category. i tell my friends, SOs, and anyone who will listen anything they want to know. And I don't lie, there is one person I have reserved the right to lie to (my mother), however I resist even that. I know it sounds petty but no one can look in my soul the way she can. Lying however is a problem, I don't tolerate it in relationships and I get really upset over it with friends. It is true I have had a pretty tame past, at least for the most part, but I don't see the benefit of denying my past self. It is "yes, I earned my red wings, and I realized it before she did" and "yes, I accidentally lit a pile of black powder with my thumb in it once". If my GF at the time of that first story didn't spread the story herself i would not admit names, as is she don't care. I'm sure my friends who were there are embarrassed for me in the second but I am the one with the burns, so tuff shit. The only thing i don't share is something someone else has told to me under confidentiality, and then I don't lie, I just tell the querier that I can't disclose that. As far as relationships go I announce this fact long before there is a relationship, so it doesn't surprise them. I appreciate reciprocity in this, but I never demand or even request it. I have had Gfs who did not believe in being open completely, or at all, and I currently have a GF who does have the same open policy as I do. Looking back at my relationships I can truthfully say that it helps. That said I had a GF who knew of TFP, and joined when we broke up (there is some question of timing there). That was ugly, really ugly. I still apologize for that. I actually quit TFP for a 18 months or so over it. I was so freaked out that I would run into her on her that this place wasn't safe anymore. Looking back at it, it looks like I guess I still do have 1 sort of secret, it really hurt me for some reason to have her see my plea for help to you guys, or to see hers. Now I feel childish about it. In fact I think I just hit a crisis, do I mention TFP to my current GF? It had honestly never come up before now and I think that I am in trouble. I will let you all know what is decided, assuming you care, I would love to be a board couple like those I see on TFP, I think the surprise was the problem. I consider this place kind of like my version of a journal, the mixture of anonymity and disclosure makes this place feel safe. That probably explains my huge rants that never seem to elicit response.