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I actually got a slight variation of this question on a test in my Pastoral Counseling class! My answer: I would talk to the cheating party immediately, but calmly, and explain that this was absolutely unacceptable. I would give them a set time limit in which to tell the other parent of their unfaithfulness, and begin the process of deciding on a course of action for the repair or the dissolution of the marriage. I would offer my help if desired, but make it clear that the situation cannot go forward as it stands, if for no other reason than if I found out, others would inevitably find out, and it would be a community scandal.
Among my people, few things are considered as grievous an offense as causing someone else to become an object of public ridicule. We're also not generally big on adultery or deceit, but in my opinion, that's secondary here.
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.
(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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