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There are quite a few of these moments in my life.. the "feeling most alive." Very few of them involve other people. Most of them involve horses.. I've been kicked, bitten, trampled, bucked off, etc. and a lot of my "life lessons" have come from them.
One of the most intense moments of my life came on a normal day of riding my instructor's big warmblood gelding, Livingston. I had essentially re-started his training from scratch, so this 12 year old gelding who was nearly 6 feet tall at the shoulder (with a head bigger than my torso) behaved like a three year old on a regular basis.
On this particular day, I had decided to introduce a new movement into his vocabulary, trying to teach him to haunches-in to prepare for further movements. He wasn't a big fan. He'd shake his head, buck, twist, throw his head down to pull the reins away from me.. anything to get me to quit asking. I backed off and returned to easier requests, hoping he would lose the attitude. No. Instead, when asking him to canter, he decided to throw rearing into the mix.
Now, he was the biggest horse I've ridden so far. 7 inches taller than me at his shoulder, his head well above 6 feet (closer to 7 feet if he was trying to keep it away from me, hah). Rearing up, this horse was a monster. He reared a few times on me, half-rears letting me know that he wasn't happy with my requests. Coming out of one of the rears, I finally lost my reservations. I'd had enough, and who cares if I got hurt? Who cares that I was out riding, alone, with no one at home and no neighbors within earshot? This jerk needed to learn to respect me, like I had respected his confusion and backed off.
The next time he reared up, I popped him between the ears with my whip.
He just reared higher, passing the point of vertical and starting to tip over backwards.
Luckily, I kept my wits and pulled his head to the side, pushing myself in the opposite direction. I hit the ground hard; he thumped down on his side, then quickly stood back up. We both shook ourselves off, processing what had just happened. I just got right back on and continued with what I was trying to teach him.
That bastard never reared on me again.
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"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel
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