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Originally Posted by StellaLuna
Hmm... interesting question! I hadn't thought of it that way, since my place in this family is one of love and acceptance from both of them. If I were to put myself in the space of the "other woman", I guess that would color my view. In fact, for a while, that's how I felt; I knew that my relationship with ratbastid was all right with lurkette, but I always felt like I was sneaking around. She and I did a lot of work making sure that everything was out in the open, feelings expressed, worries looked over and broken down. (It's still a lot of work.) But even with all my concerns, I knew I was making him happy, and that was enough. If Dad is seeing someone on the side... well, I'd be thrilled if Mom and Dad could go the route of an open and loving marriage, but their relationship is so broken that it's not a good idea. I think people need to be happy, and part of that happiness is in sexual self-expression and love. Part of me is still a little kid wanting Mommy and Daddy to be in love, but I know that's not the case; the adult in me says to let Dad be happy with his life and choices, however they look to me. As long as he's being careful and he has that space of love in his life, I have no problem with it.
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I wasn't critical of your family with Mr and Mrs Bastid - I was meaning that because you have been brave and self-aware enough to do something unconventional that has made all three of you happy, maybe you're open to empathsing with your Dad more than many others.
I find it interesting that since I divorced (for my wife's infidelity) both my Father and my Brother have re-assessed their own failing relationshis in the light of my new found happiness in my second marriage, and left their respective wives.
I feel that seeing that my life didn't go all to pieces made them realise that unsatisfactory things that had been causing both of them real grief (in one case a bored marriage with little love, and in the other a drunken spouse) gave them "permission" to look elsewhere.