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There are so many factors that only the child in this situation would know.
1. Is the affair a defensive one; ie is the "victim" parent ignoring, refusing sex with, antagonizing, or otherwise forcing the "offender" into finding an outlet without destroying the potentially beneficial familial ties for kids, husband, and the self?
2. Is the "victim" aware of the likelihood of this affair. Many simple accept that fact that true monogamy is rare and unlikely in real life and rarely has anything to do with "love".
3. If the "victim" isn't aware, should he/she be? Is it pretty obvious but he/she simple chooses to be blind to it?
4. Is the "victim" also having an affair? Sometimes we assume that the one we catch is the only offender, often not true.
5. Does there seem to still be real "love" between the two or is it one-sided toward the "victim"? Other words is the "victim" being victimized? Sometimes women have commented that their husbands are never more loving or attentative as when they are having affairs.
You need to evaluate so much to make a decision as to whether to tell or not. Then you have to wait and see how that unfolds; and be willing to change your mind or assist in mending what you opened up, depending on your choice. The involvement of your decision won't end for you once you make it, it justs gets started.
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Love is a four letter word.
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