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Maybe I'm a little "old school", but my kids (one of 'em is 24) have learned that they can't always have what they want. I give them what they need, never placed importance on things and I guess they're lucky enough to have an aunt (who was unable to conceive) who the does the spoiling and buys their school year wardrobes.
All their friends had Nintendo and Gameboys etc and inevitably my kids asked why we couldn't have one. I never made excuses but made sure they knew these were expensive toys. They played games on the family PC instead and never complained.
I saw whiny brats being bought things at the checkout line to "shut the kid up". What a great way to teach them to keep whining and expecting more. I did give my kids special things when I could. But it was never an expectation. Usually it was a surprise and it meant so much more.
This is just a small example of not necessarily giving them things just because you can. The trick is to teach them what's truly important.
Let them learn to earn and yes, volunteer at soup kitchens etc but don't do it on the holidays. There's less glory and recognition on an ordinary day.
I don't think they have to live in poverty to appreciate what they have. Show them through your actions and teachings. I was raised with a silver spoon and have lived in near poverty as an adult, but my values have never changed. My parents taught me the same.
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
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