View Single Post
Old 01-31-2008, 01:42 AM   #89 (permalink)
abaya
 
abaya's Avatar
 
Location: Iceland
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSD
Once I was out of the bubble of upper class suburbia, I realized just how much I had and was grateful for it.
See, now this is something I would like to avoid (the bubble part) when we have kids. I don't know if we'll be living in upper-class suburbia, but given the degrees and potential joint income that ktspktsp and I have/will have in the future, I doubt we're ever going to struggle with money... and thus, neither will our children.

Some background (which I think will be more informative than the survey in this thread). I grew up in an upper-middle-class home (mostly due to circumstance: my biological father died before I was born), on some property at the end of a dirt-road, with a mixed bag of privileges... we had a nice house and several pre-owned cars, but my dad built the house by hand, and he fixed all the cars himself. We never bought anything new. My clothes came from K-Mart for a long time, because my mom was an immigrant and didn't see any social "stigma" about shopping there (neither did I, until I was in jr. high and encasing myself in my own bubble, wanting nicer clothes like the "cooler" kids). So we were by no means rich/upper-class, but we were comfortably FAR from being poor. My mom grew up upper-class in Thailand, and my step-dad grew up working-class/blue-collar in the US. He's still a manual laborer who works his ass off, no less than 10 hours a day, in his mid-50s. Neither of them graduated from college, but our home was full of books--mostly bought for me--and education was an essential value that they instilled in me. We also traveled as often as we could afford.

Anyway, it was my dad who made me aware of poverty, when I was still pretty young... and I think that had a great effect on me. I was never able to construct a decent enough bubble (which I wanted, so I could emulate those "cooler" kids) to make me forget about what he'd shown me. For example, he knew of an elderly woman living in public housing in urban Seattle... we'd go visit her several times a year, bringing gifts and generally just "remembering" her (she had no family). I remember her room stank of urine every time we walked in the door, and her "apartment" was tiny and rather filthy. My mom hated visiting her, and maybe I did, too... but I'll never forget her reality. She died in her room and no one found the body for 3 days. She had no financial capital, and perhaps more importantly, no social capital.

We also took in all kinds of people to our home, much to my mother's dismay, as my dad has always had a soft spot for people who are struggling to just get by. We even had a homeless guy staying in our place for several months, because our church refused to help him out (he struggled too much with alcoholism and wouldn't get help, though, so we had to ask him to leave). It never seemed terribly strange to me, growing up, but I think it shaped a lot of my understanding of class and privilege for the future. He encouraged me to volunteer all the time, with soup kitchens and the disabled, etc. I never liked doing it--but still, it shaped me.

So, thinking about the life ahead for ktspktsp's and my kids, I know that we two are much more privileged than my own parents were... but I want our kids to grow up with as much (if not more) exposure to different classes and levels of privilege than I did, so that they're aware of exactly how lucky they are from a young age. I'm just not sure how to do that. Does anyone have any other ideas/experiences in doing this? Other than lots of volunteering, I'm not sure what else can be done...
__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

--Khalil Gibran
abaya is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360