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Originally Posted by Ustwo
Didn't you live with your wife, unmarried for years?
Under those circumstances its a moot point.
For me, my wife was still living at home, and had just graduated from college.
I have a great relationship with her parents, it would have been rude to not say anything in my book. The infantilization would only take place if I said 'Sorry honey but your father said no, so I'll be on my way.'
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If I remember correctly we'd been dating for about three years and had only lived together for about four months when I asked her to marry me (and I am not sure if her parents knew that she'd moved in with me at that point).
I too have an excellent relationship with my wife's parents (perhaps even better than my own parents at times). I still wouldn't ask permission. To me, the symbolism of the act is enough to infantilize her. Your scenario would infantilize me and commodify her.