This is a true story. On hell flight from Phoenix I was seated next to a man who had terrible body odor. Turned out he was flying home after some sort of surgery and his wound was leaking. After we were in air I went to the back of the plane and asked the steward if there were another seat I could have. There wasn't as the plane was full. Then another passenger came up to complain that the man beside him was masturbating under a blanket. Of course I immediately suggested we switch seats. I mean really, sex or wound leakage?! Apparently the steward alerted the airport police because when I disembarked they pulled both the masturbator and myself aside separately. They detained me for about 2 seconds to ask me if I saw anything untoward. I hadn't, but they still gave me a free airline ticket. And, apparently no one ever contacted the airport medics because the leaker just walked off unaccompanied. This certainly wasn't life or death (not for me, anyway), but it was memorable.
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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata
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