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Asking "permission" is obviously making you uncomfortable and for good reason.
Does he know your living together? Is that a big deal?
Presuming you guys get along already and approval is a given, I don't see why an informal conversation about your intentions should be too hard. State your intentions as fact and he'll probably congratulate you, right? Then he gets to tell her mother and you can all have a toast while he regales you with his own proposal and wedding stories.
Unless he's a controlling jerk and you're a layabout nogoodnick, you're working yourself into a lather over nothing.
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Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
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