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Two perspectives for you. I got to a point of desperation, just over a year ago, where I asked my long-term therapist to tell me straight up what he actually thought my diagnosis was. He told me generalized anxiety and mild depressive episodes. I took that, went to the nurse, and she prescribed me some anti-depressants. I probably even journaled about it here. I kept them by my bedside for a couple of weeks. I never took the first pill. Shortly afterwards, 2 years of long-distance with my husband ended, and while I still have bouts of anxiety and depression, nothing has ever been as bad as it was then.
If we had to do long-term long-distance again?... I don't know. I might look at the pills again, if nothing else worked (including regular exercise, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and daily journaling on my own--working out my issues), as they were not working for me then. But for now, I am not considering taking them, and cannot imagine doing so ever again. But who knows, really.
The other perspective is that of my mother's experience. She has had "panic attacks" for probably... 15 years now? It started around menopause. She has pretty severe anxiety and depression... her lows are MUCH lower than mine are, and she has not sought out many tools to help get herself out of them. She has gone to talk therapy in years past, but not CBT, and she has not seen a therapist now for a few years. She takes some variety of pills every single day, and probably always will. She does not really have the self-awareness, motivation, or general wherewithal to "sort out her issues." I am always urging her to find these things, or hell, just to take a walk every day to have some physical exercise, but she doesn't do it. She takes the easy way out--she pops a pill every day, as part of her routine (at her age, she has to take a few pills every day anyway, for high blood pressure and whatnot). And, for the most part, it keeps her sane and functioning, which is difficult for her otherwise because of a multitude of circumstances that I won't get into right now.
So, I don't know. I could be all pissed off at her and call her a cop-out or dependent or whatever (I've done all that before, and I do remain quite angry with her for other reasons, when I'm at my weakest), but the fact remains that she is dealing with her own mental issues in the way she feels most comfortable with. Should I look down on her for not being "tough" enough to do this without meds? I don't think I should. Does it work for her? It seems to. Does she want to change that? Not that I can see. So who am I to say that she has a chemical imbalance or not? I'm not her. It's not my body. As long as she is able to treat herself right, and treat me and others right, then I can't really judge her for being on those pills. She's only human. She's never going to "heal" the way *I* want her to. But why the hell should that matter?
People do what they need to do, I guess is my point. Do what you need to do, screw everyone else's opinion.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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