Originally Posted by Tophat665

It just occurred to me that the large sizes of the Graffix Brand of Tubular water pipes for use with Tobacco (of course), are seated in a high impact ceramic cylinder, about the size of a straight sided pub pint (for stability). If one's firearm, broadsword, crowbar, cricket bat, katana, knobkerrie, godentang, guisarme-volgue, bassoon, Kukri, baseball bat, lawn darts, shuriken, flamethrower, ill tempered mutant sea bass with a frickin laser beam in its forehead, battleaxe, nail-gun, Mongolian Death Worm (dwarf), or similar implement of destruction were out of reach, a firm smack in the chops with a campbells soup can full of concrete on the end of a three foot length of acrylic tubing might discourage many a nocturnal marauder, and, if you had some suitable tobacco on hand as well, you would be in great shape to ameliorate the adrenaline crash inevitable after delivering such a tolchock.