|
jinn: you're right - my choice of wording didn't convey what i meant. when i say 'his,' i do not mean to imply possession. i mean, i stated that at the beginning, but i concede the semantic argument. what i meant was 'the girl he's pursuing,' but used 'his' as short-hand to convey that relation of people in the hypothetical scenario. to me, it's not so much about something...juvenile...as you put it, say 'man rules' or the equivalent. it's about respecting the friendship. in my experience, when people start dating someone, they often tend to get hopes of where it might lead, and they start..well...being attracted to the other person. i don't know about you, but i personally have found that i dislike it when i am rejected. i wouldn't want to put my friend in the position of feeling like they were rejected by me, particularly in something emotional. now, sometimes it happens. i've been there. but out of respect for my friend, i would keep them informed and discuss it with them beforehand. not after i'd hooked up with the girl, or after i'd asked her out when i knew he was dating her. i would have to ask myself which relationship i valued more - the friendship, or the potential dating relationship with the girl...one of them has 13 years, one of them has a few days or etc. one of them has been there for me, the other one looks good in a skirt. if i'm going to be in competition for something with a friend, i want to know from the get-go, and i've found that competing over the same girl almost never ends well. maybe you and your friends don't roll that way, in which case i suppose i'm happy for you. i just don't snake my friend's love interests...there are far too many girls out there to pursue, and friendships are too rare. i think it helps the friendship to know that you support them in what they're doing, and that you want them to be happy even if it means passing up an opportunity to hang out with potentially great girl. and if she is that great for you...well, a little time and communication won't hurt anything.
instead of finding out that your friend had hooked up with some girl you were interested in, or had asked her out or whatever, i'd rather have my friend come and ask me about it. it's just a respect thing. respect makes strong friendships.
__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style
|