Thread: Bleeding out
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Old 01-22-2008, 04:02 PM   #37 (permalink)
Jinn
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Location: Seattle, WA
Quote:
It has nothing to do with viewing the girl as 'finders keeper' or as a possession.
Or does it? Have you really thought about why you would have such a rule? Because your friends might lose out on "having" something they might otherwise not? Your language seems to reveal the truth in my statement:

Quote:
[...]that he's been out with her a couple of times and has invited her over to party, I'm not moving in on his girl. Period.
His girl? He's already laid "dibs" on her? She's already his potential property? She isn't just a girl anymore, but "his" girl. This implies ownership. She's still just a girl looking for someone to love, but somehow in your juvenile system of "I called dibs!" she's now his claim until he releases his stake in it. At this point you've completely take out her CHOICE in the matter. Maybe she wanted to be with you, instead? By making her property in this manner, you remove her ability to choose.

Quote:
In this case, it seems like old Jimmy here made the first move, and while in the process of exploring that situation, his friend moved up an snarfed his girl...during a party.
Again, "his" girl. What has he done to earn the title to her? Has he fought valiantly for the right to claim rights to the land? This sounds like a bidding war on a car, not a real-life blood-and-bones woman.

Quote:
But if he's my friend, then there's just certain things you don't do. This is just one of those things. You have to be able to trust your friends, and this type of things doesn't lend itself well to being able to trust
This sounds like the lead in to one of those shitty teen email chains about "Man Rules" or "What a Real Man does." Contrary to your belief that this is some sort of universal "thing you don't do," my friends and I all agree that in it'd be a "best man wins" situation should we both be interested in the same woman.

Keep in mind that this is a minority position, simply because it requires a good deal of self confidence to say "Yea, go for it. If we both go for her and she picks me, then clearly I had more of what she wanted." It doesn't have to be an ego hit if a girl picks you over your 'bro', so long as you have the maturity to realize that it is indicative of her preference rather than a flaw in yourself.

Most people don't have the self-confidence to live in such a scheme, but I wouldn't be friends with guys who couldn't handle this. It doesn't have to be an archaic property claim, ala "bros before hos," as you seem to imply.
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