MSD

On your side, I see you going back to someone who has fucked you over and what I would say is bordering on mildly obsessive behavior over the relationship. You got mad enough to pack up her stuff, drive it to her new place, and throw it on her lawn after she ditched you for a friend after a drunken argument, yet 6 months later you can't think of an excuse to say no to dinner with her.

For her, I can see the possibility of the following BPD criteria from what you wrote
2: a pattern of intense and unstable relationships
3: damaging, impulsive behaviors (quickly picking up and dropping relationships; I assume drugs or heavy drinking were involved when she was raped if she doesn't know who the father of the child is, it sounds like she probably used drugs during the abusive relationship, and if she got drunk enough to get in a relationship-ending argument over the phone, I'm guessing she probably drinks heavily,)
1: jumping from one relationship to another in a way that could easily fall under "efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment," especially given her family life with her parents,

and I'm going to guess based on what you wrote, although you didn't come out and say it, that
3: identity disturbance ... unstable self-image applies because she was in a long abusive relationship,
and
7: chronic feelings of emptiness or worthlessness,
or maybe 6: affective instability due to marked reactivity of mood
are strong possibilities.