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One thing that strikes me as being somewhat absent from the OP - what does *she* want??
Is she a "wait until marriage" type? If so, you need to just respect that. If you can't live with it, then move on.
Is she just waiting for Mr. Right, and you aren't it?
Does she want to have sex with you? Is the problem lack of desire, or is it fear?
Is she afraid of (it hurting, getting pregnant, the wrath of God, giving you the STD she hasn't told you about...etc)?
You might not know the answer to these questions if she isn't telling you, but, honestly, I get a clear sense of what it is you want, but I have no idea what it is she wants. If she wants sex, but is having trouble getting there, then some of the other advice here might help. If she isn't interested...well, obviously you shouldn't try to force the issue or pressure her into it.
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