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Leave your girlfriend to fend for herself.
You won't even get to spoon before you die, so what's the point? Are you stupid?
Treat wounded people like they have the plague.
I'm sure your injured friend appreciates that you're helping them waddle away from danger, but danger isn't waddling to catch up. Ditch the gimp.
If you're not the best looking member of your group, find an uglier group
Haven't you ever seen a movie? Brad Pitt will live, and you will die horribly. If you're lucky, he'll be the last to die.
If you're looking the monster/alien in the face, drop trou' and beat off 'cause you're gonna die.
Self explanatory.
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