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Um, no one looks at both simultaneously.
Think about it: when you are looking at something on the table, both eyes are focused on a single spot. Same thing when you are looking at a face: you are looking at one eye. The only way to look at both eyes simultaneously would be to go wall-eyed (like the old Magic Eye posters) or cross-eyed.
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QFT. You're overthinking it, because no one really stares at both eyes.
A few things that might help; STARING at another person IS aggressive. Watch any two non-domesticated animals, and you'll see that if they ever lock eyes it's a bad thing, and they're getting ready to fight.
Somehow in our evolutionary process the stare and SMILE become a positive thing, and domesticated animals nowadays are the same way. If you stare at an intelligent dog or cat, they react differently than if you stare and smile. It's the same with people.
You probably have an issue looking at them in the eyes because you're staring.
And because the wonders of the Internet, you now have a perfect way to practice:
Try it with her. Focus on the one eye, and as it pans out, look at the other, then both, then match her mouth movement with a smile. That's how it works with every face you'll ever see.
