Hardknock

First off, apologies that this is going to be long, but I need some outside opinions to help me put things into perspective. Some of you may have read part of this on another thread in the sexuality forum, but like I said, I'd like some opinions...

My story...

I've been married to my wife for over 11 years now. Everything was cool until three weeks ago. Her grandfather passed away the day after Christmas (whom she was really close to by the way) and soon afterwards, she did a complete 180 personality wise. She was (and still is) upset at herself because she wasn't by his side when he died, upset at god for taking him and ultimately, she ended up directing all that anger at me for all the little things that have been bottling up insider her that one would think that people don't get divorced over. Things like, disagreements on where to go out to eat, what we're going to do this weekend, how and when to feed our son, etc. Afterwards, she says she wants a divorce. I don't take her out enough, don't pay attention to her emotional needs, don't want to spend time with her, etc. are her reasons. Nevermind the fact that we have a 22 month old to take care of and I'm the sole breadwinner of the household so I alone shoulder the responsibility of providing for all three of us. She's not a total stay-at-home mom as she works part-time so she can get her "adult interaction." So she's not totally alone in the child rearing. For our entire marriage, I've been a faithful husband who's always supported and taken care of his family. I've never cheated on her, I don't abuse her, she's always been the reason why I work so hard to provide for her and our family. So she can have a comfortable lifestyle so she can go back to school and finish her degree without having to worry about bills at home. I've busted my ass to allow my wife to be a stay at home mom when the time came (which is what she wanted from day one) with a nice house and a comfortable lifestyle. We're not rich or anything but we're not scraping by either. Maybe I paid too much attention to being the provider. I can take responsibility for may part in this if I neglected her because I was too busy being the provider, but what really pisses me off is that she can't take responsibility for her part in this.

She can't communicate worth a shit. She has a controlling mentality where she always has to be right. First, she gets pissed off at me when I fail to make her feel better by reading her mind and saying exactly what she wants to hear exactly when she wants to hear it anytime she's in a down mood. Second, she subscribes to the notion of, "If you love me I shouldn't have to tell you what to say, you should already know." How the fuck am I supposed to know what's she's feeling if she doesn't fucking tell me?!? Third, she doesn't tell me what shes thinking or what she's feeling at any give time. I'm just "supposed to know" if I love her. Talking to her since this all happened is like literally talking to a brick wall. She can't be reasoned with. She just gets pissed off and she tries to deflect it back at me and tries to make it seem like it's my fault for pissing her off when I'm just trying to talk about what's going on in her head.

Anyway, like I said, after 11 years of that, she says she wants a divorce and went off to her cousin's house. Says I don't pay attention to her anymore. I don't respect her enough to consider her feelings. (I still have no clue what they are half the time because she doesn't speak up!) And that I'm the one who needs to change because I don't talk to her. Nevermind the fact that she doesn't say shit regarding her feelings and I supposed to read her mind and play mind games with her feelings. In her mind, she can't see that the reason why I clam up is because I'm getting sick of her mind games and because of that it's driving me away. She's so fucking stubborn she'd rather see our 11 year marriage go down in flames rather than admit she was wrong and try to fix this.

Anyway, I'm at the point where I just wanna say fuck it and cut off all contact with her. (other than affairs regarding our son) I don't know if she's still upset about her grandpa or what, but lately, she's become a real bitch and the fucked up part is that she's only directing that bitchiness at me and me alone. None of her friends have to put up with this shit. She went from sending me love notes on myspace at the end of November to wanting a divorce a month later. In that time, I went from being her loving husband to everything that's gone wrong in her life. That doesn't sit right with me either. I'm getting sick of it. We have a kid too so it's not that simple. But she's really starting to piss me off.

What's worse, is that after doing some thinking, I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. In that other thread, Daniel_ mad a good point about even if we somehow work this out, I still have to deal with a person who can't communicate and doesn't know what she wants. I still think that this is a valid point. So on one hand, half of me wants to work it out with her for the sake of our son, knowing that all this drama will occur again at some point in the future. A dead end I know. The other half of me doesn't give a shit if she drives herself of a bridge tomorrow because of the fact that she's so impossible to deal and reason with right now. I feel like I'm better off without her but what I fear most is what it will do to my son in the future. He'll be 2 in March, so I'm hoping that he'll remember very little (if any) of all this drama.

Opinions appreciated....