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Don't make me push my man-boobs together. I'll do it.
...
See the problem with showcasing "the goods" like that out in public is that I'm going to go off into a male mammary-quest tangent like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Boob. Based on the available visual map shown above, I'm going to attempt to determine overall breast size, nipple size, nipple color, nipple flavor, what they might look like with Sharpie smiley faces, bead exchange rate for the 2009 Mardi Gras get-together, etc. Every man does this and it's all for science's sake.
See, we don't stare because we're lustful creatures, no-no, we stare because we're curious and just trying to figure out your exposed biological entities.
Yeah, that.
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