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Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct
As I am apparently one of four straight men in the world who can have female friends and not want to fuck them, I don't have issues with this kind of thing. I resent controlling types, and would never tell someone what not to do in their own life. I wouldn't have a problem with voicing concerns if someone's actions were making me uncomfortable, but in the end relationships need to be based on trust, and people need to be able to make their own decisions. If someone is going to fuck around behind my back, they're going to do it anyway.
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The issue so much isn't trust, its really not, the issue is comfort.
If its making your S.O. feel uneasy, even if logically he says 'sure I have no problem with it', why make him feel uneasy?
When I was dating my wife and we were pretty serious, she still had 3 years of college when I graduated. She was also in a sorority and had a lot of functions where it was expected you would bring your boyfriend/date to. I trusted her and I wanted her to still have fun when I wasn't there. I didn't trust random guys I didn't know so for the events I couldn't make she had 'safe dates' from my friends still in school. One of these guys scored a 97% on the purity test, they were of good character and close to asexual. If she was out with them I didn't worry about THEM trying anything. This wasn't me imposing my will she thought it was a great idea. She did have a number of guys after her while I was gone, including a TA and she was always oblivious. I felt better about the arrangement, she didn't mind, and everyone was happy.
I don't see this situation being a whole lot different. Hell I can imagine if my wife said 'well you are 300 miles away you can't come, so I'll just take my ex boyfriend, don't worry we are just friends'. Yea that would have been just special
Perhaps somewhat ironically this is asking the woman to be sensitive to the guys feelings. IF it bothers him and he is 'special' to you, why the hell make him so uncomfortable?