Humurous Sayings
There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things we know we don't know. But, there are also unknown unknowns. These are things we don't know we don't know - Donald Rumsfield
Quit school, join a gang, is my message to youth. Smoke as many cigarettes as you can. Try the different brands, find out what is right for you - Ellen DeGeneres
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it 'Jumping up and down' - Rita Rudner
I'm fascinated by air. If you took the air out of the sky, all the birds would fall on the ground. And the planes too - Jean-Claude Van Damme
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective - P. J. O'Rourke
The secret to managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided
- Casey Stengel
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man - Jack Handey
An infinite number of rednecks, in an infinite number of pickup trucks, firing an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, will produce all the great works of literature - in braille - Stephen Webb
In the business world an executive knows something about everything, a technician knows everything about something and the switchboard operator knows everything - Harold Coffin
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks - Jean Kerr
The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music - Peter De Vries
Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together - Mel Brooks
Time's fun when you're having flies - Kermit the Frog
I date this girl for two years, and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name" - Mike Binder
Glad
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I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!
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