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In the general sense, no - I don't think it's a problem if my girlfriend is/was good friends with one of her ex-boyfriends. However, I think you need to ask yourself what exactly is it about her and this guy that is bothering you. If it's just because they had sex 3 years ago, I'd say get over it. If she behaves in a way that shows preference to him over you, or if she's doing anything sneaky, or if you feel that he's trying to move on your girl...then those might be valid reasons to have a problem with it.
One thing for certain - if you can't discuss these issues with your girlfriend without her making you feel defensive, you're going to be fucked. If your girlfriend wants to hang out with her ex, but not allow you to hang out with yours...I think you're fucked. I also think that if your girlfriend didn't anticipate that this might cause problems...then I think she's maybe a little naive or willfully ignorant. This issue always comes up in these situations, so I'd think the communication about it is important. My girlfriend would probably be a little concerned if I didn't have a little jealously if she's hanging out with an ex-boyfriend or a guy who we know is attracted to her. Not jealousy out of control - but a little bit is perfectly natural.
The biggest thing is that you be able to communicate with her (or him, cadre) about these things without the attack/defense mentality...if the emotions are there, then they should be dealt with. It also goes a long way if she would make a definite show that you and your feelings are her priority, not something you just "have to kinda deal with."
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