Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Would you be ok with your GF to be friends with an ex?

richard311 · 01-07-2008, 09:13 AM

You have a girlfriend of over a year, and she is good friends with one of her exes. When you first got with your GF, you thought she rarely ever talked to the dude. But come to find out, they are better friends than you think, and they talk on the phone or text every other day or so, and occasionally hang out once every couple weeks or whatever with her, her kid, and the ex. Ive met the guy once at her sons birthday party. But we didnt really talk. She has invited me to hang out with all of them now after I had a problem with it. Because he only seemed to go over when I wasnt around at first.

Granted its been 3 years since they broke up, but they were together for a year and engaged or close to it. Would you be ok and let that happen, or would you prefer her not to be around him.

Now I dont like it and its caused problems for my GF and I. We were already having issues, and this just seemed to add to the problems. But when I say I dont like it, she turns it into me trying to control her and who she hangs out with. She tells me they are just friends and that I have nothing to worry about and that I just kinda have to deal with it. Now I know I have jealousy issues, but I feel she does as well, and its ok for her to hang with him, but I brought up hanging with one of my exes that I somewhat talk to and she said it was different, because my ex tried to steal me away from a girl I was with. Granted, she did, but my GF also cheated on her BF to get with me, so if we go by that logic of what people do in the past, then I have all the same rights to be worried about her hanging with him.

I really want this to work, but I hate knowing she has him as such a good friend and that she can turn to him when she is down or whatever. Plus I just think Id feel wierd being around him and knowing he was with her in certain ways for a year of their life. I dont want to see her past in person.

Maybe Im just the wrong one for thinking this way.

Now I know we have a lot of other issues, but this is just one that I wanted to get an opinion on for now.

01-07-2008, 09:13 AM	#1 (permalink)
richard311 Upright	Would you be ok with your GF to be friends with an ex? You have a girlfriend of over a year, and she is good friends with one of her exes. When you first got with your GF, you thought she rarely ever talked to the dude. But come to find out, they are better friends than you think, and they talk on the phone or text every other day or so, and occasionally hang out once every couple weeks or whatever with her, her kid, and the ex. Ive met the guy once at her sons birthday party. But we didnt really talk. She has invited me to hang out with all of them now after I had a problem with it. Because he only seemed to go over when I wasnt around at first. Granted its been 3 years since they broke up, but they were together for a year and engaged or close to it. Would you be ok and let that happen, or would you prefer her not to be around him. Now I dont like it and its caused problems for my GF and I. We were already having issues, and this just seemed to add to the problems. But when I say I dont like it, she turns it into me trying to control her and who she hangs out with. She tells me they are just friends and that I have nothing to worry about and that I just kinda have to deal with it. Now I know I have jealousy issues, but I feel she does as well, and its ok for her to hang with him, but I brought up hanging with one of my exes that I somewhat talk to and she said it was different, because my ex tried to steal me away from a girl I was with. Granted, she did, but my GF also cheated on her BF to get with me, so if we go by that logic of what people do in the past, then I have all the same rights to be worried about her hanging with him. I really want this to work, but I hate knowing she has him as such a good friend and that she can turn to him when she is down or whatever. Plus I just think Id feel wierd being around him and knowing he was with her in certain ways for a year of their life. I dont want to see her past in person. Maybe Im just the wrong one for thinking this way. Now I know we have a lot of other issues, but this is just one that I wanted to get an opinion on for now.