jewels

Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts were too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, I fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing irritatedly.

"How long will this take?" I asked.

"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.

I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of ! toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them grow larger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain