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Originally Posted by ratbastid
Evolutionarily speaking, the the female of the species has much more invested in sex--they're the one carrying the offspring, caring for the children, etc. You could say that sex has the potential to cost the woman much more than it costs the man who, biologically, does the deed and his contribution is done.
Women are genetically programmed to have sex only in the context of a relationship in which the man will be sticking around, supporting her, being a provider. Men are genetically programmed to squirt their seed far and wide (try to get that image out of your head!).
That's not to say that men and women can't be just as capable of separating sex and love (though the desirability of that is debatable), just that there are certain genetic predispositions in the matter. It's like a genetic predisposition for cancer doesn't mean you'll get cancer, but it does say something about the odds.
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Well put.
I am quite able to separate sex and love, though, generally, I do find sex to be a very intimate and intensely close experience. I do not have to be in love to have sex however, not even close.
I have been in love 4 times in my life. I have had sex many more times than that. (I'm one of those guys who doesn't know "my number" however, suffice it to say that it's more than 40.)
I have several female friends, and have had many a late night conversation about sex and love and relationships over a few glasses of red wine with many a charming young / not so young woman. I can safely say that they too have had much sex where there has been no love. In fact, I've met a few women who claim that they've never even been, "in love"; yet, they aren't virgins.
I don't think that women wait to be in love to have sex. In fact, in my experience, most women I meet / date usually end up in my bed on the first date, or at the latest, the third date. (My ex that I was with for 5 years surrrendered the pink on the first date, so please don't draw conclusions about that either.)
Bottom line, as the old saying goes, women need to have a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
Women are more selective about whom they have sex with than men are, hence maybe the perception that women need to be in love, or at least in a committed relationship. I think that fact stems from 1000's of years of evolution of being the one to carry and raise the children as well as the societial taboos that have arisen around female sexuality.
So, to conclude, do women want to get laid for the sake of getting laid?
You bet your ass they do. It's just that they aren't going to put out for the first guy that comes around the corner of the bar.