Jinn

How do you spark up a lasting conversation with someone you already know?

When you first meet someone, there are tons of things to learn about them;
You can ask about their favorite things, politics, religion, education, families, job, relationship status, choice in music and movies, take on current events, opinion about people you know, what classes they’re taking (if they’re in college), or even the event that caused your meeting (party, etc). I think that having a strong desire to learn about other people is the most important part of being a good conversationalist.

I think this availability of topics is the reason I like meeting new people so much; there is so much to talk about, so much to learn about them. But it has a downside.

The people I already know, my “good friends,” get harder to talk to. I already know their favorite things, their religion and politics, education, job and relationship status. The only thing that comes to mind to speak to is what’s happened since I saw them last. If they’re a really good friend, it probably hasn’t been very long since I saw them last, so there’s not much to talk about.

My best friends are probably the ones who have very active lives; one day they’re here, the next day they’re playing bongos in a bar in Spain. The next day they’re thinking about buying a house in Morocco. Those are the people who you can talk and listen to for a few hours each time you see them, because so many things have happened in your absence.

SO – TFP: How do you talk to your “good” friends? Even in the case of friends I haven’t seen in months, I refresh myself on what their NEW jobs are, who their NEW relationships are with, and I’m at an impasse. What now?

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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel