SecretMethod70

The way I look at it is this: you can't control whether or not someone is upset that you didn't get them what they think you should have gotten them. Most people have their way of doing Christmas and they're going to continue to do things that way. If you buy a more expensive gift for someone this year so that the gift giving is more even...what do you do next year when faced with the same problem?

There are three ways situations like that can go:

1) They buy you a gift, you buy them a gift...next year, repeat, ad infinitum.
2) They buy you a gift, you buy them a card...next year, repeat, ad infinitum. If they keep on buying you a gift while you're getting them cards, clearly they don't mind.
3) They buy you a gift, you buy them a card...next year (or in a few years), they buy you a card, you buy them a card. Over time, they catch on that you don't do the gift thing the way they do and so they start to respond in kind. Either they'll do it happily or grudgingly, but whichever that is, it's not your issue. So long as you're clear from the get-go, which it sounds like you are.

Anyway, that's how I look at it. I only think it's righteously indignant to tell someone else that they're celebrating Christmas/the holidays "wrong." All you're wanting to do is celebrate it in your own way.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling