Quote:
|
Originally Posted by blktour
you act as if tapping him on the hand will make him resent you for life or something. a tap never hurt anybody or made them to be a serial killer.
as far as never catching him, well then there is no real fix for that. he will learn eventually that doing that is not ok since mom says no. just give it time.
people learn from pain. and a small tap will not make him a bad person.
"do as i say, not as i do." is something that comes to mind.
as far as raising a child, I am still in the process. he is 7 right now.
as for me seeing you as wanting to be his friend, i never said you said that, i just implied, and if you clarify it for me, then I can understand better. sorry to come off as an accusation. but i got it from when you try to talk to him about it and explain it. at two he wont know, but he will understand no. you will be able to make his cognitive and verbal skills grow in other areas, and sometimes, "no means, NO." thats all the answer you need sometimes.
|
Of course tapping him on the hand won't make him a serial killer. What it
will do is teach him that hitting is OK, likely causing him to be a hitter as well. A 2-year-old can't yet understand why it's OK for you to do something to him that he can't do back to you, or to other people.
"People learn from pain." <---- are yous serious? IMHO you should never, EVER hit a child with the intent to cause pain. That, in my book, qualifies as child abuse. I may give him a smack on the butt, but it is only to get his attention and only because I know it won't actually hurt him.
Also, how does me wanting to talk to him like a person instead of a dog or something make me his best friend? "NO!" *smack* is reserved for Blue, our doxy, when he shits on the carpet - not for the small child when he chews on his nails. Isn't part of the job of a parent to teach their child as much about the world as they can, to prepare them to be functional adults someday? That starts shortly after birth, doesn't it? It should.
I am also curious why you think that a two-year-old can't understand complete sentences. I talk to my son in complete sentences - always have - and now he's beginning to speak in full sentences, too. In fact, I think he has some pretty impressive verbal skills for a 24-month-old. He also knows most of his shapes and some of his colors, and he can count to ten. I know he understands what I am saying to him because I can ask him questions and he will respond appropriately. For example, "Honey, would you like to read a book, or would you like to watch a show?" He will say, "Watch Blues Clues, please," and run to my room (where the television is located). I can request, "Honey, please get the remote for Mommy," and he will respond with "Yes" or "OK" and bring me the remote control. The other day I was tapping his foot with mine and he said, "Mommy, no kicking please." Small children are intelligent, impressionable little sponges - they can absorb much more than you apparently think they can.
The reason my son didn't understand my initial "talk" about nail biting is because he had no idea what I was talking about. He didn't connect "don't bite your nails" with the actual process of biting his nails. It's not his fault - I had never discussed it with him before. He is learning, however, since I have again caught him biting (this time his toenails - yuck!) and firmly told him "NO," followed by the reason why we don't bite our nails. He didn't try to bite his nails any more after that.
blktour, it's obvious that we have very different parenting styles, and I doubt we will ever agree on the appropriate way to end nail-biting. I say we just agree to disagree.
Thanks to everybody else that has given advice and shared their experiences. I very much appreciate it
