Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - The wedding crasher friends.. How to tell them to fuck off

Mondak · 06-03-2003, 12:39 PM

How do I say this without getting edited. . .

From the surface of what you told us, you don't deserve your friends. Weddings are about control and appearances. You seem to be more on that side than making sure that people who care about you get to make a memory together. I am frustrated by this type of thing because so many guys I know basically lose all their friends after they get Married. Their wives made it so - either them or me kind of thing.

Here is a quick note: married people are allowed to still have friends. Good luck with your wedding and with your former friends.

Ok - let me try to make that constructive. You are stuck with your family and they are stuck with you - you are born into the damn thing. Friends are far more valuable, because they CHOOSE you. At any time they can walk away and yet they are many times more loyal and careing than family. If you have an opportunity to either allienate your friends or make them feel welcome - always choose to do your best to build these relationships. You never know when you can use a good friend.

As far as them being different - I imagine that they are a silimar age as you and are facing many of the same things. Even if you are the first to get married or face this type of situation, I bet they are changing too just as you are. Maybe you just have not seen it as much since you do not spend as much time with them. If they are Friends, give them a chance, you may be pleasently surprised.

Hope that was more helpful than what I wrote at first.

06-03-2003, 12:39 PM	#15 (permalink)
Mondak Industrialist Location: Southern California	How do I say this without getting edited. . . From the surface of what you told us, you don't deserve your friends. Weddings are about control and appearances. You seem to be more on that side than making sure that people who care about you get to make a memory together. I am frustrated by this type of thing because so many guys I know basically lose all their friends after they get Married. Their wives made it so - either them or me kind of thing. Here is a quick note: married people are allowed to still have friends. Good luck with your wedding and with your former friends. Ok - let me try to make that constructive. You are stuck with your family and they are stuck with you - you are born into the damn thing. Friends are far more valuable, because they CHOOSE you. At any time they can walk away and yet they are many times more loyal and careing than family. If you have an opportunity to either allienate your friends or make them feel welcome - always choose to do your best to build these relationships. You never know when you can use a good friend. As far as them being different - I imagine that they are a silimar age as you and are facing many of the same things. Even if you are the first to get married or face this type of situation, I bet they are changing too just as you are. Maybe you just have not seen it as much since you do not spend as much time with them. If they are Friends, give them a chance, you may be pleasently surprised. Hope that was more helpful than what I wrote at first. __________________ All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed Second, it is violently opposed and Third, it is accepted as self-evident. ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860)