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dk and crompsin--but dk's no. 50 in particular----point to something else, though, and i find that actually interesting.
when you imagined yourself in the scenario of the mall, you imagined yourself immediately as in a position to react with a weapon.
i imagined myself as---counter-intuitive as this is to me--walking around the mall, not thinking of anything in particular, and finding myself in the vicinity of this kid at the moment he started shooting.
so in your scenario, you imagined yourself as in a position to assert a degree of control, and then filled in other possibilities because of your disposition and background--it is at that point that i found no. 50 interesting.
it made me wonder why exactly my immediate reaction was to put myself imaginatively in the position of someone who just happened to be wandering around in a mall at the wrong time.
the difference seems to me that you reduced chaos by the way you chose to insert yourself into the scene. but i did the opposite: i multiplied the origin points. so i projected myself as a spectator.
i dont have a particular argument to make about this, but it is an interesting sidebar.
actually, i understand the desire to feel as though you could have done something in such a situation.
and it makes sense that anyone, really, would be inclined to project that desire into scenarios that one constructs.
where things grow strange is the moment one starts to conflate the content of a scenario/projection with something more than that.
i dont agree with your argument that you built on the basis of the scenario that you generated, dk, but that's to be expected i suppose: i just find the choice each of us made, which i take to be a kind of reflex choice, and the difference between them, to be interesting.
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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear
it make you sick.
-kamau brathwaite
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