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Originally Posted by JustJess
I missed this originally and found it on a search for "milk". By the way, that search brings up disturbing amounts of Bobby's posts... But I digress. 
The first bit of conversation, it's unclear who's doing the talking. Is she using archaic language? I'm not sure. |
I cleaned it up a bit, you were absolutely correct. The dialog and internal monologue was muddled and didn't flow properly. Hopefully this is better.
("god damnit" removed, not sure why I put it there to begin with)