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Old 12-06-2007, 03:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
JustJess
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Location: Kittyville
I missed this originally and found it on a search for "milk". By the way, that search brings up disturbing amounts of Bobby's posts... But I digress.

The first bit of conversation, it's unclear who's doing the talking. Is she using archaic language? I'm not sure. Other than that, I always enjoy the imagery you use, and the twist endings are fun. I think that you could develop this story with more intro and outro, so to speak, if you wanted, but I suppose that's the point; this was supposed to just be sex, right?

Oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure Goddammit is one word.
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