Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How do I stop wanting to bang other girls??

Mantus · 12-06-2007, 12:30 AM

This was a huge hurdle for me.

You don’t fix it. You embrace it. You become honest with yourself and your loved one. As a men we love women. We WANT women. We get hardons for women. It’s who we are. To deny this is to lie to oneself.

A relationship is at it’s very core an AGREEMENT. If your agreement involves monogamy (as mine does) all we are doing is making a choice NOT TO ACT on our nature. We are making a choice to use all that zest and energy and love for all the women in this world and turn it all towards our girl. But that doesn’t change who we are. To try to hide it from ourselves is dangerous. To hide it from our lover is lying. To hide it from the world is sad.

It’s up to every man to figure out how to manifest his true nature.

I love women. My girl knows this. She knows that I adore and appreciate women for everything that makes them feminine. I don’t hide this from her. I don’t hide this from the other girls. I want women to know that I appreciate them. They light up my world; the least I can do is make them feel good about themselves.

Doesn’t that mean I might “slip up” one day? No. I am totally honest with my girl and myself. This is not something dark and unwanted within me. I embrace it. I am cool with it. As such I have a very clear perspective on why I CHOOSE to stay with my girlfriend. There are many, many women out there. Most of them have some quality that shines above all others – including my girl. But it’s not just about an ass, or energy or wit. It’s about the total package. My girl is perfect for me. She makes me happy in every way. I love her for that. I may appreciate other women but I will never forget what’s important to me. My CHOICE is the only power I have in this world. I don’t take it lightly.

Can a better girl come along? Will my behavior increase the chance of me finding someone else? Lets be honest. YES. But I won’t betray who I am. I won’t lie to my love about my nature. Most importantly I have FAITH in us. It’s not certain. Love is not a science. Love is about having faith in yourself and the one you truly care for. This faith has to come from an honest place otherwise you’ll create a monster that will eat away at you and the relationship.

That’s my prerogative. Honesty, open communication, faith.

12-06-2007, 12:30 AM	#55 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	This was a huge hurdle for me. You don’t fix it. You embrace it. You become honest with yourself and your loved one. As a men we love women. We WANT women. We get hardons for women. It’s who we are. To deny this is to lie to oneself. A relationship is at it’s very core an AGREEMENT. If your agreement involves monogamy (as mine does) all we are doing is making a choice NOT TO ACT on our nature. We are making a choice to use all that zest and energy and love for all the women in this world and turn it all towards our girl. But that doesn’t change who we are. To try to hide it from ourselves is dangerous. To hide it from our lover is lying. To hide it from the world is sad. It’s up to every man to figure out how to manifest his true nature. I love women. My girl knows this. She knows that I adore and appreciate women for everything that makes them feminine. I don’t hide this from her. I don’t hide this from the other girls. I want women to know that I appreciate them. They light up my world; the least I can do is make them feel good about themselves. Doesn’t that mean I might “slip up” one day? No. I am totally honest with my girl and myself. This is not something dark and unwanted within me. I embrace it. I am cool with it. As such I have a very clear perspective on why I CHOOSE to stay with my girlfriend. There are many, many women out there. Most of them have some quality that shines above all others – including my girl. But it’s not just about an ass, or energy or wit. It’s about the total package. My girl is perfect for me. She makes me happy in every way. I love her for that. I may appreciate other women but I will never forget what’s important to me. My CHOICE is the only power I have in this world. I don’t take it lightly. Can a better girl come along? Will my behavior increase the chance of me finding someone else? Lets be honest. YES. But I won’t betray who I am. I won’t lie to my love about my nature. Most importantly I have FAITH in us. It’s not certain. Love is not a science. Love is about having faith in yourself and the one you truly care for. This faith has to come from an honest place otherwise you’ll create a monster that will eat away at you and the relationship. That’s my prerogative. Honesty, open communication, faith.