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generally, i'm with charlatan on this--if a film is bad beyond a certain limit, it becomes something Other, in a vegas kinda way.
but there are films that never reach this plateau, and which
result in periods of unremitting misery.
like
knocked up.
the worst piece of shit i have seen in recent memory. tedious stupid people i didnt care about get involved in tedious stupid situations i didnt care about, all this complete with dreadful writing that was obviously confused with funny somehow.
there's another film involving two tedious middleclass boys driving around cali wine country whining about their tedious lives, taking time out from time to time to deliver idiotic speeches about the pinot noir grape. i've repressed the title, but it made me consider setting myself on fire.
e.t.:
a bad film about squat ugly jesus.
star wars.
a bad western in space.
a LONG bad western in space.
a series of LONG bad westerns in space.
titanic
the quintessential hollywood bloat-o-thon.
dreadful beyond imagination.
except for one moment: when the model titanic is sinking into the bathtub, it splits in half and the stern is pointing straight up, more or less. somewhere within this sequence--interminable in the way that every other sequence in this horrific thing is---an extra falls off the stern. on the way down he hits a bulkhead. it makes a cool noise. for the duration of that noise, i was interested. that was it. i think it lasted maybe a second.
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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear
it make you sick.
-kamau brathwaite
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