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Originally Posted by benclass
...it just seems to feel really good and then everyone once in a while it will feel REALLLY REALLY GOOD, and she'll tell me that I need to stop because it is too much good and it's starting to get painful.
Sometimes her fingers will clench up and she'll go into giggiling fits if I touch her hands. Other times she will say the she is seeing different colors. But she cannot seem to lose control and just let it all go.
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If you ask me, she's already having orgasms. Involuntary muscle contractions, mood chemicals making her act silly and happy, physical pleasure, followed by a "that's enough" feeling? Dude, that's an orgasm. Not everyone thrashes around on the bed like a porn star. I myself have more than one kind of orgasm, too, and the one I get from sex (g-spot) is completely different and probably wouldn't even be recognizable to someone who had been taught that "ALL ORGASMS MUST BE LIKE THIS".
I think the "losing control and letting it all go" that you want is more of an attitude thing than an idication of orgasm. You want her to behave in a specific way they she is still too inhibited to do. Time, encouragement, and experience will wear away at those inhibitions.
It's also possible that she will never have the kind of lost-control orgasm that you (and she) seem to think necessary. Lots of girls just get really tense, heave a deep sigh, and then go all limp and smiley. Heck, sometimes I am concentrating so hard that I don't move or even really breathe until after. That doesn't mean it doesn't feel good!!!
It's much more important that you DON'T MAKE HER FEEL LIKE SHE IS BROKEN! I can't emphasize that enough. Relax, reassure each other, and have fun... it will come in time (pun intended
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