A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book
the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.
He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.
The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.
The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.
There was once this second-rate orchestra led by a second-rate director.
In the orchestra was this guy on the cymbals who never banged them at the right time. So the conductor said, "If you don't get it right this time I'll kill you."
When the time came for the percussionist to get it right, he didn't. And so the director pulled out a gun and shot him dead.
Of course, the police came and arrested him and eventually the conductor ended up on death row. The day came when he was sent to the electric chair. As the crowd watched, the executionist flipped the switch ... but nothing happened. Everyone wondered what when wrong.
But the director knew. Saddened by all that had taken place, he said, "I never was a very good ... conductor!"
Good effort, maestro.
