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God damnit. I fucking loathe sausage. Lemme tell ya a story:
...
(steps into time machine, scars erode, hair extends, tattoos disappear)
In 2002, I used to work as a CAD monkey for a GSA company that did work for Lockheed Martin / DotN, etc.
Ya know what I got for a x-mas bonus one year?
A giant Jimmy Dean sausage. Musta been like 18" long, 4" thick.
A FRIGGIN' SAUSAGE. A donkey dong's worth of sausage.
No cash, no card... a giant sausage. What every single guy in his 20s needs.
Bastards.
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