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Originally Posted by cj2112
This is a subject that hits close to home. up until recently I was a full time single Dad. My ex has had no involvement whatsoever in the kids lives. They were 4 and almost 2 when we split, and I have had them ever since. They are now 14 and almost 11.
I always found it uncomfortable when people would treat me like I was some kind of superhero because I love being Dad, and had full custody of my children. I believe that parenthood is an exercise in sacrifice, and it has taught me much.
Did I get some odd looks @ the park? I was too busy playing w/ my kids to care or notice if other people were watching me. I do see will's point, and I tend to agree, I just don't worry about that kind of stuff.
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I just wanted to quote this, and get the discussion back to the topic and not about paying for your own college, and 1950's traditional family values.
I think the male being a horrible single parent stigma is slowly going away. I'm going to keep my personal life out of this topic as it's all very new to me, but I know a man who would've been a magnificent father, and is a magnificent grandfather, but 24 years ago the courts were so oldfashioned they only gave him every other weekend, and every time his daughter does something unbelievable I wish she had spent more time with her father growing up rather than her mother who has done some unbelievable things also. Each case is different, I just wish more parents would be able to work out a co-parenting solution rather than a me against you single parenting solution.
I hope i have the same problem as cj2112 and don't notice if people are staring at me. I'd rather be playing and enjoying my time with my child than wondering what other people think.
The only thing I can do to change the stigma is do the best I can with my child and other children. After many a social gatherings with children present I've been told "you're so good with children!" plenty of times. I'm not trying to make up for all the other assholes in the world who have created that stigma, I'm just going to do my own thing and not worry about those stigmas.