I guess you're right, I can't blame her for me feeling this way about her...thats my issue as you said. Its just a very frustrating and emotionally confusing situation for me. Do you think I actually set out to live with my best friend so that all of this shit would happen and so that we would end up being more apart than together. Give me the credit of having enough virtue to be trying to make it work. I am the one that convinced her not to kick me out..because i WAS trying to keep my friend. Unbeknownst to her, sometimes I'm in agony just from having her there and from having to distance myself from her. I don't want to lose her completely, but it seems the best solution for me, is to lose her if anything temporarily until I can sort my own shit out. I just have to face the fact that she doesn't care about me THAT much, and thats a hard pill to swallow for me for some reason. I grew up together with her, I knew this girl since she was a tiny thing who was still picking her buggers and sticking pencils up her nose. I love her, but thats just the issue....I love her too much.
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